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Posted by on Apr 8, 2014 in Boating Lifestyle |

Top 5 Boat Jokes

We found these while trolling the internet for boating-related April Fool's stories... ahem, I mean—working.

5. The Nervous Crew

A very nervous first time crew member says to the skipper, “Do yachts like this sink very often?”

“Not too often,” replied the skipper. “Usually it’s only the once.”
Read more on Stormforce Coaching

Pirate with parrot

Pirates should not marry their parrots. Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons.

4. The Stowaway

A young woman was very depressed and decided to end it all by throwing herself into the sea. Just as she was about to do so, a handsome sailor ran down to the shore.

“There is so much you could do with you life,” he told her. “In fact, my ship is sailing for America in the morning. I’ll smuggle you on board and make sure you have plenty of food. If you’ll just help me pass the lonely evening hours, I will get you over to America where you can start a new life.” Find out what happens to the stowaway…

3. Three Ladies Go Racing

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde had all entered a singlehanded race but failed to make it to the starting line.

The brunette lost her mast overboard during a grueling qualifying passage and couldn’t get it repaired in time.

The redhead decided the flexing of the hull around the keelbolts she discovered at the last moment might lead to structural failure when she was far at sea and beyond the range of easy rescue.

The blonde couldn’t find crew.  (From Sail Magazine, recorded by Marathon Sail & Power Squadron)

2. Captain Bligh Goes to the Psychiatrist

As a result of a near mutiny the overbearing and arrogant captain was forced to see a psychiatrist by order of the commodore.

As soon as the captain became comfortable on the couch, the psychiatrist began the session by asking the captain, “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”

The captain said, ” Okay. In the beginning I created heaven and the earth…” Read more on YachtPals

1. The Perils of Marrying a Parrot

An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color…. green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

The young man noticed that the captain was staring at him.

“What’s the matter old timer—never done anything wild in your life?”

The old captain snorted. “Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!”

Read many more jokes on the Fuerte News website

Read Best Boat Jokes

Got a favorite boat joke we missed? Send it to editor@boats.com and we’ll add it to our next collection.